My mind has been a constant congestion of thoughts, ideas, and dreams. It has been really hard to dissect the overflow. I don’t usually go into my personal life on here but I need to purge; I think it is the only way to release the tension and sort through all of it.
I have spent the last couple of months exploring the idea of illustration and painting as a career instead of a hobby. Funny really; I started out in art school straight out of high school with the mind set to become an artist. A year and a half later, I decided to transfer and become an art teacher because I didn’t want to be a “starving artist”. Amazing how we can come full circle.
In order to gain focus and clarity, I decided to take an online e-course on dreaming big. Mondo Beyondo has been helping me to do this. Although the class has wrapped up, I fell behind because of Art Shows at school and other obligations that required my attention, I intend to keep plugging away at the course work. I am determined to gain perspective and truly find where the heck I am suppose to go next.
It is very unnerving to be 30 years old and feel lost. I know, some of you will tell me that I am too young to worry or feel lost. Some of you might think I have so much right now that proves I have a life that would make others envious. That is all true. But what if you wake up every day and only get up because you have to, not because you cannot wait to start the day. I feel that there is more for me to do. I believe it is possible to wake up each day and feel so much energy pulsing in my mind and body.
I thirst for more satisfaction in my life and wonder if I am truly listening to what makes me happy. One of the things Mondo Beyondo asked me to do is make a list of dreams. Not to worry about logistics, how foolish it sounds, or how I can make it happen. Just write down anything that comes to mind. The next challenge was to not look at it for a week.
Today, I logged into the class and read my next assignment. I was challenged to share my list with someone or on my blog. So here it goes, my dreaming big, I mean really big dream list.
illustrate childrens’ book ~travel to Paris and sit with Mona Lisa and dream more~move~ move somewhere warmer and sunnier~adopt~live in Italy for a month or 2 or 3 or more~learn how to speak a foreign language~go skydiving~help others dream big~sell my own art work~find my style of art making~love fiercely~be loved fiercely~have children~own a home on a lake~become an illustrator~see my artwork in a magazine~visit Hawaii or live there~visit Australia, Greece, South America, Jamaica, Africa~be sexier~be funnier~win millions and give most of it away but live comfortably~love again~heal my broken heart~be a lover~become happier~live each day with excitement~laugh more~ laugh everyday~ smile more~ find that energy that wakes me up each day~fix the education system~learn how to scuba dive~learn how to surf~meet Drew Barrymore and become great friends~accept others shortcoming~accept my own flaws~make friends easier~learn how to ballroom dance~become an event planner~truly believe in myself again~
There is my list. It gave me butterflies to share it with you all. In fact there were a few things that truly made my heart skip an extra beat just to type it and share it. There were other things that were very easy to share and there others that seemed foolish and so not like me.